leaving it behind

Identity loss, no matter in what form, will always be hard.

Losing your identity in a trans relationship can come in a number of forms: sexual identity (heterosexual or homosexual), relationship identity, family identity, self identity.

You can lose these things over a gradual amount of time and only realise they are gone once they are gone. Or there can be the impending doom. The sadness….. “I don’t want change”.

Can I really have a lesbian relationship with someone? I like having a man around the house to kill the spiders and earn money! I love his big strong arms! Will people erase our relationship and consider us equals now we are lesbians?

The reality is that you can be in a relationship with someone and not have sex if you are not into it. Some people just like companionship. Is that you?

Do you love change and a challenge? The clothes, the adventure, the new partner? Or do you crave the security of the constant? Do you want to change your identity? And see your partner change?

The crux of this is that no one can tell you who you are. You must look deep inside of yourself and ask who you are and what do you want?

Are you on an exciting journey that you relish? Or are you falling into the pitfalls of hell? Or a combination of both, compromising here, there and everywhere?

It doesn’t matter if you are married. It doesn’t matter if you are pregnant, or have children. It doesn’t matter if you are poor or rich, the swelling of unhappiness and sadness can take over your life in the face of any change.

Be a master of your destiny and be prepared for what’s in store. No one is stopping you except you.

And when you decide the sky may be blue, no matter how bitter sweet or sad it is.




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4 Responses to leaving it behind

  1. Pam matthews says:

    My ex came out to me as transgender. Just another fad, he has fads and goes full on. But he takes my clothes is self absorbed and self obsessed, these days. He wants to be a full transgender, but I am increasingly getting fed up of being the bread winner, basically being used for the last 9 years, he hardly pays a penny and still expects me to support him even now we are not a couple. His choice. I told him last night that he needs to be with his own kind, he needs to move on, now he will not speak to me. Am I the selfish one.

  2. Skyenezz says:

    My ex husband (still married to) has come out and I been argue for 5 years whats wrong with me.
    I hope he will be happy but at the same time i am so angry with him.

    I met someone new, but he still have feelings for me but i cant touch a woman that way.
    and he hate the idea i am with someone new….

    I just feel so lost =(

    • You are not alone Skyenezz. Many women have been in your position before and many of us empathize with you. You don’t have to stay with someone out of obligation; that’s not love and it just ends up being a whole lot of hurt and resentment.

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