Before my partner transitioned I had never really new anyone who was transgender. I am sure I would have met someone, but I didn’t know. Now being transgender is in the media often with positive stories, sensationalized stories, stories from famous people and stories about not so famous people. Also, I meet a lot more people who are transgender or who has a partner who is transgender.
I feel akin with these people but I can’t “out” my partner. I want to say “hey! I’m like you- my partner is trans too! We have some thing in common, how are you coping? Are you OK? What is your story?” But I can never say these things and I feel weird and voyeuristic.
Yesterday I went to collect a bookshelf from a random stranger whose partner was obviously just beginning to transition. I live in Australia where people are “generally accepting” towards transgender people. I wonder how it is for this couple? It is none of my business though, and I know that. I suppose underlying the “wanting to know” is actually “how can I help? Do you need info? Do you have support?” etc…..
Being secret is weird, but it is also respecting privacy….